Necessary Evil

Public Enemies

14th July 2014

“Today grieving relatives attended the funeral of Yvette Claydermann, one of the sixteen victims murdered by the terrorists Arrowhead, Secutor, Harrier and Fixer at the Marlon Country Club during their escape from the authorities on 4th July….”

“Turn that crap off” said Arrowhead. “I don’t want to listen to that smarmy quisling bastard Pelley spreading a pack of lies about us.” Harrier switched channels to some boring twaddle about museums.

Tempers were starting to flare. Four individualistic supervillains cooped up in a warehouse did not always make for a happy time. Secutor clearly at least still had his own hideaway, and he seemed to spend about half of his time there.

Suddenly the screen went blank, and the helmeted face of Doctor Destruction appeared, clearly in a laboratory of some sort.

“I’m happy to see you’re all getting along together so well” he said, clearly with a degree of irony. “As you seem to be getting a little stale you’ll be pleased to hear that I have another little job for you.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve wading through sewers” muttered Arrowhead. They had all burned the costumes they had worn that day, and been jockeying continually to take over use of the shower.

“No it doesn’t” replied the Doctor. “I take it you’ve all heard of Chelsea Clinton?”

They nodded. She was the daughter of the vice president- technically the President now since Obama had been incinerated on the day the V’ sori sprung their surprise attack. After the betrayal, the now President Clinton and her daughter went underground, assuming a fugitive lifestyle In the ensuing years. The V’ sori made occasional newscasts about the ‘fugitive terrorists’, but they had heard nothing new for a while.

“Well President Clinton, Chelsea and her daughter Mary have just been captured.” said the Doctor.

“Oh?” said Arrowhead, “Why do we care?”

“I managed do discover some interesting facts from Alpha’s Force’s computers,” said the Doctor. “Among other things I managed to ping a Teleport Tube in Atlantis, which is apparently still operational. All we need is another Tube to get us there.”

“There is also another one much closer, who’s exact location I am at this time unable to pinpoint. However my researches lead me to conclude that this other tube is likely in fact the one stolen by Hydra – the so called ‘Mutant Mastermind’ – from Atlantis some years ago. Aided by Hydronaut I believe.”

“It was never recovered, and Hydra is still at large, though unfortunately I have no contact with him.”

“And this has what to do with the Clinton’s?” yawned Arrowhead.

“You may recall that back in 1999 Hydra kidnapped Chelsea Clinton, and then inexplicably released her after some weeks. He was never caught.” continued the Doctor.

“Sometime in the noughties I was considering a plan to clone the Clintons, the Bushes and several other notable families – I am a genius after all – but for various reasons the plan proved too resource intensive, and I never pursued it. I did however, obtain DNA samples.”

“I never thought much of it till I reviewed these recently and came up with an interesting fact: Chelsea Clinton’s daughter Mary shares the same DNA profile as Hydra.”

There was a moments silence while it sunk in. Fixer started to laugh.

“Do you mean to say”, he said, “That Hydra was S******g Chelsea Clinton?”

“Crudely put, but yes.” said the Doctor impassively. “And what is more, I suspect that she kept contact with him after her release. She may know the location of his base.”

“And that’s why you want us to rescue her?” said Arrowhead.

“Yes. But rescuing the whole First Family would also prevent a major V’sori propaganda coup of the first order. As long as they remain at large, some of America’s population are still likely to resist and assist us.”

“Even Hilary Clinton?” asked Secutor doubtfully.

“Yes.”

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